Objects in the Mirror

I had a traumatic incident today as I was headed home for lunch. It’s a warm day, so I had my car windows open. A wasp viewed this as an invitation to fly inside. While I was driving.

Oh, hell no.

Do you have any idea how hard it is to keep your eyes on the road while simultaneously staring into the rearview mirror, tracking every movement of an insect with a sharp stinger flying around the back seat?! The damn thing looked like it was hovering near the back passenger window, but then I remembered that objects in the mirror may be closer than they appear and freaked out all over again.

I’m pretty sure the only reason I didn’t end up in a ditch on the side of the road is because I was driving through downtown, where there’s nary a ditch to be found. Amazingly, I managed to keep my wits about me (meaning I didn’t scream like a little girl). Instead, I calmly slid open the power moonroof and started singing “Born Free” to encourage the wasp to exit my vehicle. Either that or I yelled, “Get the f!ck out of here!” To be honest, it’s all kind of a blur.

I hate it when you spot a bug in close proximity and then lose sight of it. One is never more aware of one’s own skin until one believes a bug is crawling over said skin. I swear I felt it land on me half a dozen times over the course of two miles, but I’m sure this was nothing more than my imagination.

Damn you, imagination! ‘Cause that was the longest eight-minute drive of my life.

By the time I pulled into the driveway, the wasp was gone. Either that, or hiding so it could torment me on the way back to the office.

So, yeah. It’s warm today. Pushing-80-degrees warm. You’d never know we had 6” of snow one week ago.

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Our tree lost all its leaves in 18 hours.

Naturally, the storm blew in right around the time I was playing staff photographer and doing a photoshoot for a groundbreaking ceremony downtown. It was cold and windy and spitting snow, and even though the event took place inside a tent, it felt like that might blow away at any moment. Fortunately, it didn’t, and my pictures turned out pretty good. My favorite part was hearing one of the city council members reading my executive proclamation out loud to the crowd. Pretty sure I had goosebumps the size of Cadillacs on my arms. Not that I could feel them ‘cause I was numb from the cold.

Fortunately, the worst of the storm held off until nighttime. The next morning, we awoke to a winter wonderland. On October 10. What can I say? Fall is the shortest season of all around these parts. I bounced up and down excitedly like a kid in a candy store…

…until I remembered that I actually had to shovel the stuff now.

That took a solid 45 minutes because we have a pretty good-sized driveway and decent stretch of sidewalk. I mentioned to Tara months ago that we might want to invest in a snowblower, and now I’m more convinced than ever that would be money well spent.

In any case, the snow’s all gone now, other than a few slushy piles in parking lots. I’m happy to report that autumn is back.

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Fall foliage at Horse Thief Lake.

But probably not for long.

The other big event last week was my company’s Raw Couture fashion show. It’s an annual event in which models wear edgy costumes made from raw materials that reflect the businesses sponsoring them, as well as the theme. This was our third year putting it on, and it’s growing more popular every time. The theme was “Forgotten Toys,” so we had a lot of really cool and slightly creepy costumes.

I wasn’t sure what to expect, since this was my first go-round; my job as “runner” sounded fairly generic. In the end, I was tasked with corralling the models, making sure they had their photos taken, lined up where they were supposed to, etc. It may sound glamorous, but…

Yeah. Not gonna lie. It actually was pretty fun. And revealing, in more ways than one. My only regret is that I remained backstage the whole time, so I didn’t actually get to see the show. But Tara was in the audience and enjoyed it very much.

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Me and the work crew.

Maybe next year I’ll get to do something where I can actually watch it myself.

 

10 thoughts on “Objects in the Mirror

  1. That weather is just frightful! I’m hoping 80 degrees is barreling its way in my direction, but the forecast doesn’t say so. Your job is so varied and interesting! Who wouldn’t want to work in a show like that? Although I’m trying to figure out the sort of businesses any of them represent . . . A gay barber shop for the duo and an HVAC business for the jack in the box? LOL!

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    • The jack-in-the-box was one of the local hospitals and the Lite Brite/monkey duo were from a day spa/salon. I can’t remember how the materials each used tied in to the businesses, but the costumes were pretty great!

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  2. ” I calmly slid open the power moonroof and started singing “Born Free” to encourage the wasp to exit my vehicle. Either that or I yelled, “Get the f!ck out of here!” To be honest, it’s all kind of a blur.”

    OMG, Mark…I laughed my ass off when I read that because it sounds like something I would do.

    And I totally understand how you felt because I’m the same way when it comes to things like spiders, palmetto bugs, and most definitely wasps flying around inside the car I’m driving. I would FREAK.

    ” Either that, or hiding so it could torment me on the way back to the office.”

    Bwhahahahahahahaha!

    Hasn’t the weather been bipolar? It’s been the same here. I couldn’t get over your photos on Instagram of the SNOW you got already?! Your picture of “Fall foliage at Horse Thief Lake” is STUNNING! We’ve had a tiny bit of leaf-color change, but nothing dramatic yet. I’m hoping we get a really good cold snap so that the leaves change.

    Okay, and I LOVED your photos of the Raw Couture fashion show! Looks like a TON of fun! Great costumes too. So creative!

    Have a superb weekend, my friend. And if you can, please send me some of that fabulous fall/winter weather you’re having!

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    • Ron, it is currently snowing again and very windy as I’m responding to your note. I sure hope this blows your way (but somehow skips over Bijoux, who is less enamored of snow than we are).

      I hope you’re able to get out and take some photos once the fall colors really start to pop; I always enjoy your autumn pics in Philly and NYC! Have a great week ahead, my friend.

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