I’ve always felt that pineapple is criminally underrated.
Maybe this is because I was born in Hawaii. Pineapple is practically in my blood! Coconut, too. I’m like a living, breathing Pina Colada. So, it bothers me when pineapple gets a bad rap.
This usually occurs in connection with pizza. People have very strong opinions about putting pineapple on pizza, and they’re mostly negative. A recent YouGov poll found that pineapple is one of the least-popular pizza toppings (only anchovies and eggplant were more despised). On one Twitter thread, people who like pineapple on pizza are compared to Hitler. Gordon Ramsay, never one to shy away from an expletive, once said, “You don’t put fucking pineapple on pizza.”
The vitriol doesn’t stop there. Iceland’s president wants to ban pineapple on pizza. You know what I’d like to ban, Guðni Th. Jóhannesson? Impossible-to-decipher symbols over letters. Locating them on a keyboard is a real pain in the ass! I also don’t have much use for the Northern Lights, come to think of it. The moon works just fine for me, so you can take your Aurora and shove it up your Borealis.
I may be just a tad bitter.
A University of Arizona student ordered a barbecue chicken pizza with pineapple, but when it arrived, she was handed a box with a $5 bill taped to it and a handwritten note that read, Couldn’t bring myself to put pineapple on it. That’s gross. Sorry. True story. Well, I think large roof-mounted signs atop cars are an abomination, but I’m not going to give anybody a hard time about them. Pizza delivery drivers playing god is one trend I can do without.
To me, it’s not a question of should we put pineapple on pizza, but rather, how much pineapple should we pile on top of pizza? (The answer: a lot.)
I don’t understand the revulsion, and the blatant elitism bugs me. Pineapple on pizza is delicious and provides a delightfully sweet/sour/juicy contrast to the tangy tomato sauce and savory meat. It goes especially well with ham but is a great topping on any pizza IMHO. My go-to order is Marco’s Hawaiian Chicken, a decadent combination of ham, grilled chicken, bacon, pineapple, tomato sauce and blend of three cheeses. Tara and I split one last week and it was freakin’ amazing. ‘Nuff said.
People who despise pineapple on pizza are probably the same snobs who decry avocado toast (another fave) and kale. Look, everybody is entitled to their opinion, but petty self-righteousness is downright silly. Save your moral indignation for real concerns, like people who run red lights, or cheat on their taxes, or commit murder-by-drone because of their oversized egos. I happen to hate watermelon, but I don’t give those who enjoy it a hard time.
Live and let olive, that’s my motto. Give peas a chance.
Post-Thanksgiving blizzard aside, our weather has been fairly uneventful this winter. But that’s about to change.
You know it’s going to be cold when there’s an igloo in the 10-day forecast.
Tara isn’t happy about this, but I don’t mind. I know I’m in the minority here (much like people who love pineapple on pizza), but I enjoy cold weather. It’s the perfect excuse to bury yourself beneath blankets, build a fire in the hearth, and eat soup. Sure, going out in it sucks, but it’s like a 15-step walk from the parking lot at my work to the office. By the time you even notice it’s cold, you’re inside. I just don’t see the big deal.
I knew what I was getting into when I moved to South Dakota. Go ahead, bring it on!