Did you hear there might be a serial killer in Colorado? Terrible tragedy, three bodies discovered on rural property, other people missing. Authorities are in search of a suspect, but the part that strikes me the most about this news story is the subhead: Law enforcement won’t say how they connected Baroz to the human remains.
Seriously?! It doesn’t take a genius to figure this one out. I’m pretty sure they made the connection because their suspect’s name is Adre “Psycho” Baroz. Psycho, as in, “a deranged or psychopathic person; mentally unstable; crazy.” Hell of a nickname, ain’t it? At least I hope that’s a nickname and not his actual middle name from birth (though that would be a strong argument in favor of predestination). I’m venturing to guess one doesn’t earn a nickname like Psycho unless one has committed some truly heinous atrocities. You know, like murdering people and stuff.
You might recall my nickname in high school was Jimmy Olsen. An unassuming, nose-to-the-grindstone writer in the DC Comics universe. Which is exactly what I turned out to be.
I mean yeah, if they want to jump through hoops and go through with a trial, that’s fine and dandy. Constitutional rights, innocent until proven guilty, yadda yadda. Just don’t put me on the jury because you’re going to have a hard time convincing me a guy named Psycho didn’t commit the crime while some guy not named Psycho did.
This made me laugh extra hard today.
Oh Rudy, you incompetent buffoon. Your fall from grace was complete long before the Borat sequel or the Four Seasons Total Landscaping debacle. Any defendant of yours would surely cry fowl.
Here’s a new file for the Embarrassment Department: I called my mom “babe” in an email today.
It was an honest mistake. She’d emailed both me and Tara. I thought I was replying to my wife when I wrote, I never let an opportunity for a pun slip away, babe!
I didn’t even realize my mistake until I got the following reply: Babe? Your mother!??
It’s never a good sign when you see an interrobang.
I apologized to the woman who birthed me, told her I’d thought I was replying to Tara (oops), and said she should just consider it a sign of affection.
Still not sure if I’m writing every day this month…
Categories: Current Events