The day a notorious mobster taught me how to make pasta sauce.

I was saddened to hear the news that Ray Liotta passed away today. But I was downright mortified by my friend Ashley's response. You know what? I was salty! I was a freakin' container of Morton's Iodized because Goodfellas is probably my all-time favorite movie, and Ray Liotta's portrayal of notorious mobster-turned-FBI-informant Henry Hill is … Continue reading The day a notorious mobster taught me how to make pasta sauce.

Screw the Joneses; I’m letting my dandelions grow!

For years, I've had a love/hate relationship with dandelions. Admittedly, it was light on love. OK, fine. A hate/hate relationship. Whatevs. I don't want to be dramatic and say dandelions were the bane of my existence, but then again, subtlety has never been my strong suit. Let's just say I devoted a lot of time … Continue reading Screw the Joneses; I’m letting my dandelions grow!

I Have a Bridge to Sell You

I was listening to a podcast a few days ago and the host made an offhand comment. “If you believe that," he said, "I have a bridge to sell you.” This immediately got me to thinking about how unfair that phrase is to the hardworking people whose job it is to actually sell bridges. I'm … Continue reading I Have a Bridge to Sell You

Hiding in Plain White

I read a news article recently in which Pope Francis lamented the fact that he can no longer walk around the streets of Rome unnoticed like he used to. Just the other night, a paparazzi snapped a photo of His Holiness leaving a record store. Well, duh. The guy is dressed from head to toe … Continue reading Hiding in Plain White

Here We Are Now, Entertain Us

Go On, Squeeze the Charmin Have you ever had to write a speech for a corporate executive? I was tasked with writing not one, but two, for CenturyCo’s upcoming annual meeting. As much writing as I’ve done in my career—everything from web copy and government proposals to radio and television scripts—speeches had never before made … Continue reading Here We Are Now, Entertain Us

Strawberry Ice Cream, Phoenix Lights, & Mysterious Blips: Why I Believe in UFOs

For as long as I can remember, I’ve wanted to believe in UFOs. Like The X-Files' Fox Mulder, I figured the truth was out there. Buried beneath a government cover-up, most likely. After all, the Roswell Incident is infamous. Roswell Army Air Field in New Mexico issued a press release claiming they’d captured a “flying … Continue reading Strawberry Ice Cream, Phoenix Lights, & Mysterious Blips: Why I Believe in UFOs

Impractical Joker

I have always loved April Fools’ Day. I’m a practical joker by heart, so it’s a “holiday” that’s perfectly up my alley. Over the years, I’ve pulled some killer pranks. Like the time I created a fake note from Rusty’s first-grade teacher announcing that he’d been expelled from class. His mom was LIVID and started … Continue reading Impractical Joker

Don’t Have a Cow, Man!

A Real Shot in the Arm Tara texted me yesterday, letting me know that Walgreen’s was scheduling COVID vaccinations for our eligibility groups. I still hadn’t heard anything from the local health system regarding an appointment, so I jumped online to check it out. Sure enough, there were 17 slots available for today. Within five … Continue reading Don’t Have a Cow, Man!

Twenty Bucks-are-near

I’ve never been a Tom Brady fan, per se. But his athleticism and skill won me over years ago. Even I, a lifelong Broncos fan, have to admit he’s the GOAT. He’s simply got too many rings on too many fingers to argue otherwise. So, when my dad proposed a bet on this year’s Super … Continue reading Twenty Bucks-are-near

There’s Gnome Place Like Home

Hard to believe there's just one week left in January, huh? February may not have much going for it, unless you're into groundhogs or candy hearts. It's also Girl Scout Cookie season, so at least we have Thin Mints to look forward to. Like everybody else on the planet, I got sucked into all the … Continue reading There’s Gnome Place Like Home