Category: writing

Bachelor Chronicles: Day 3

Yesterday evening, after I’d thoroughly watered the garden and outdoor plants, I successfully predicted the future. Naturally, I’m sure it will start pouring any second now, I blogged. Naturally, it did. And was accompanied by such an incredible display of lightning, the kids across…

Beware of False Perverts

My recent venture into my blog drafts folder (and subsequent discovery of a couple of diamonds in the rough) got me curious about my spam folder, something else I never look at. Classic case of “out of sight, out of mind.” Today’s email filters…

My Slow Descent Into Madness

I decided to do a bit of “spring cleaning” today by going through the drafts folder on my blog. There were half a dozen odds and ends in there, half-formed ideas and such, waiting to be fleshed out (or more realistically, permanently abandoned). Some…

Gettin’ Jiggly With It

Look, I can understand closing down certain non-essential businesses, rescheduling concerts, postponing Major League baseball, limiting social contact, yadda yadda. But Portland has just taken things a step too far by canceling their annual naked bike ride. Is nothing sacred these days?! This decision…

Sesquipedalian

My supervisor Slacked me yesterday with a rather humorous question. Where do you learn your words?, she wondered. Or are they part of your dialogue? I wasn’t even sure how to answer that. (Ironic: I was at a loss for words. Ha!). Turns out…

You’ll Have to Pry that Thesaurus from my Frosty, Deceased Hands!

I read with great consternation dismay this morning that one of my favorite go-to reference materials, the humble modest thesaurus, is widely maligned vilified by the cognoscenti scholars and practitioners. This has me feeling melancholy sorrowful. Quite frankly, I don’t understand where all the…

[Name of Business]

The Pitfalls of Copy-and-Paste I fell victim to my own copy-and-paste transgressions this week. I’m not really surprised that it happened, but rather, that it took so long to happen. I’m working on a feature story about locally-owned bakeries for the upcoming spring/summer issue…

Objects in the Mirror

I had a traumatic incident today as I was headed home for lunch. It’s a warm day, so I had my car windows open. A wasp viewed this as an invitation to fly inside. While I was driving. Oh, hell no. Do you have…

The Third Cut is the Deepest

We writers are required to have a thick skin. It’s right there in the job requirements, alongside other necessary qualities such as: Cat-centricity. Not to be confused with eccentricity, though that’s a common stereotype, too. Hemingway famously owned a white six-toed cat and I have…